Be Prepared
by ellymelly
Summary: Rule number one in amateur space exploring: Never give a human a time machine...
1. So Oops

**Title: Be Prepared**

**Chapter 1: So oops…**

**By ellymelly**

**Disclaimer: It has been brought to my attention that I don't own anything – so, uh, I don't **

_A minute silence please, for the poor, unfortunate soccer ball…_

An experiment on a certain Major's soccer ball goes a little wrong

Please Note: This is only chapter one of a nine part series - I'm uploading them as fast as possible from another site. Anyway, without wasting another moment, let the chaos begin!

* * *

Mckay and Sheppard found themselves in one of the multiple Atlantian science Labs. Mckay, as usual, was moaning about the shocking new coffee wannabe whilst Zelenka busied himself in the background. With the hour still young and the sun reluctant to rise, no one was really in the mood…

"It's – it's just not the same…" groaned Rodney, averting his eyes from the blasphemous sight.

"Oh lighten up Mckay, this stuff isn't half bad." To prove his point, Major John Sheppard brought his mug up and took a huge swig. Rodney looked on, less than convinced. It was at this moment that Elizabeth chose to slide into the lab dressed in her usual red top and uniform pants – her hair still all slightly out of place.

"What's going on here?"

"Elizabeth," said Rodney hopefully, "tell the Major here that Akaya nut is a poor substitute for coffee."

Elizabeth raised her eyebrow and took a sip out of her own mug, "I don't know Rodney, it's not half bad."

"That's what _he _said." Muttered Rodney in disgust.

"What are you doing here at this time of the morning anyway?"

"Rodney was just showing off some of his research into phase shift technology." said John happily, picking up an object on Mckay's desk with his free hand.

"That sounds interesting."

"We're not quite there yet," replied Rodney before adding, "as I've been trying to tell Sheppard."

"Mind if I have a demonstration?"

Rodney looked at Elizabeth, he could have sworn that he had just said that they weren't ready yet, in any case, he moved over to the half deflated soccer ball where Dr. Zelenka was humming about it, fiddling with the very complicated looking equipment.

Zelenka looked questioningly at Rodney who quickly explained the situation. Zelenka reminded him that this test was not ready but Rodney insisted that the only way to be rid of the intrusion was to show them that it didn't work rather than just tell them.

Elizabeth and Sheppard moved over to the soccer ball whilst Zelenka connected a wire. Sheppard took a double take of the ball before asking heatedly, "Mckay… is that my soccer ball?"

"Yes, I suppose that's a good bet." There was a pause as Rodney received another nasty look. "But don't worry, as I said, this won't work."

Sheppard just knew he wasn't going to get that ball back… With that, Rodney threw the switch. The device around the ball glowed and hummed loudly for a few seconds – the ball flickered into transparency before falling straight through the table and out of sight. After a few brief screams as if fell through the breakfast rooms below the base went back to morning silence. Rodney and Zelenka looked at each whilst Elizabeth and Sheppard stared in shock.

"So oops…" managed the Czech.

"You can kiss that soccer ball goodbye." Added Mckay dejectedly.

"Rodney," said Elizabeth, still not taking her eyes off the place where the innocent ball had been, "what happened?"

"Well, as I said, we were experimenting with turning matter into energy form, like bringing matter out of phase ala sci-fi – or Nirti but that's a long story…"

"And," prompted John, "did it work?"

Zelenka and Rodney exchanged looks. "Sort of."

"What do you mean, 'sort of' Rodney?"

"Well, it brings matter of phase – it doesn't eliminate the gravity's influence."

"Dr. get to the point." Rodney turned his attention back to Elizabeth for the remainder of the explanation.

"It well, fell through the floor."

"Fell through to _where_?" Sheppard was swiftly losing all hope of seeing his soccer ball again.

"It should be making its way toward the centre of the planet where it will kinda…"

"Stay." Added Zelenka helpfully.

"For how long Rodney?" Rodney tried to gage whether Elizabeth was mad or amused.

"Um, hard to say."

"Several billion years –" Zelenka readjusted his spectacles.

"At least."

"Until the sun explodes." One of those awkward paused ensued. John, being John, broke it.

"So much for Trek!" he said, still shooting looks at the place where his soccer ball had been moments before.

"Yeah," agreed Elizabeth, "I'm not going to recommend human trials anytime soon." Rodney nodded accordance whilst Sheppard gave one of those, 'my soccer ball will be avenged' looks. Mercifully, the Atlantian alarm went off in time to save Rodney.

"Unauthorized wormhole. Dr. Weir to the Gateroom."

"Who would call at this hour?"

"You know Major, it's not the same time all over the galaxy."

John glared at Rodney, "I knew that."

"Oh just what I need." She put her mug down, "Excuse me gentlemen."

"I should probably –" and John had followed her out the door. Rodney looked around at the now empty lab and particularly at the mug now sitting next to the very delicate Atlantian equipment.

"It's bad enough they come in and interrupt my lab drinking their stupid half pitched attempt at coffee but why, I ask, do they have to leave that substance sitting on my desk?" he picked up Elizabeth's mug and took a sniff before recoiling quickly in disgust. "Eew…"


	2. Gatelag

**Title: Be Prepared**

**Chapter 2: Gatelag…**

**By ellymelly**

**Disclaimer: It has been brought to my attention that I don't own anything – so, uh, I don't...  
**

Sequel to 'So Oops'. Atlantis gets some visitors but regrettably no coffee.

* * *

Rodney entered the gate room at a light jog just in time to see the gate shut down and some suspiciously earth like figures lingering by the event horizon. It looked like they had ransacked Area 7, not to mention the corner store.

"Are they?" started Rodney, forgetting to finish his sentence.

"I'm as surprised as you." Replied Dr. Weir as they lent forward on the railing of the balcony, trying to get a better view of the gateroom.

"Dr. Weir." The voice came from her headset. Elizabeth tapped it and sent a glance around the area below looking for the location of the caller. She soon found the friendly hand of Dr. Jackson waving back up.

"Good to see you Dr. Jackson."

"General O'Neil sends his regards – and wow." She could tell by the pause in his voice that Daniel was temporarily distracted by the enormity of Atlantis, "This is quite something."

"So I've been told. Come on up."

Mckay – distracted as usual, had his nose as far as it would go over the balcony. "You don't suppose they brought coffee do you?"

Eilzabeth couldn't believe that Mckay was more interested in coffee than the unexpected arrival of fellow earthlings but indulged him all the same. "If Dr. Jackson's here then I believe it's a safe bet."

Daniel came up the stairs in leaps and bounds heading straight towards them with only the occasional quick, distracted look. Quite an accomplishment for someone who was about to have their head explode.

"Dr. Weir." greeted Daniel, extending his hand.

"Dr. Jackson," she said, shaking it firmly, "what brings you to this corner of the universe?"

"Jack didn't tell you?"

"He was brief."

"Ah." Said Daniel, far from surprised, "And who's this?"

"Dr. Mckay, Dr. Rodney Mckay." Rodney advanced into the conversation, also shaking his hand as was the Earth tradition.

"You were in Antarctica?"

"Briefly."

"You try to kill Jack?"

"No, that was Dr. Beckett."

"Ah." Daniel remarked in understanding.

"I think a briefing is in order gentlemen."

"You have no idea." Replied Dr. Jackson, allowing his eyes to linger on the writing around the walls.

As Elizabeth, Rodney and Daniel approached the briefing room, its walls slid open at multiple sections like a giant slat window. Daniel took a hesitant step backwards and reassessed the situation before him. The looks that Dr. Weir and Mckay gave him finally convincing him that it was safe and they continued.

There were already a significant number of people in the briefing room; among them were Dr.'s Zelenka and Beckett. Ford and Sheppard were at one end debating something about Teyla who was two seats away rolling her eyes at them. Colonel Samantha Carter was playing with her laptop – Rodney instantly straightened at the sight of her, his mouth falling open. Next to her was an earth Major who looked remotely like Dr. Who and beside him a spare seat.

Elizabeth bent down, lowing herself to Mckay's ear level before whispering, "Rodney, you're mouth's open."

Rodney snapped out of it just before Carter noticed their presence in the room. She smiled at him – he nearly died on the spot.

Daniel went into the general noise of the briefing room to greet those people he didn't know whilst Carter rose from her seat and moved toward Weir and Mckay.

"Dr.'s Weir, Mckay." She said, shaking their hands in turn with Mckay still in too much shock to speak.

Meanwhile, Ford and Sheppard were in their little corner staring shamelessly at the blonde Colonel.

"Who's that with Mckay?"

"I presume," said Sheppard, shifting slightly for a better view, "it's the one we've all heard so much about, what was her name?"

"For once Mckay was right."

"I'm inclined to agree."

Daniel, who was over meeting new friends, found himself chatting to a presently calm – soon to be anxious, Beckett.

"Dr. Beckett I presume. I met you briefly in Antarctica."

"It was 'n accident…"

And so the crowd mingled for a few minutes before getting settled. There was still that spare seat next to the Major who turned out to be Joshua Summerville. Elizabeth rose in an attempt to get things underway.

"So, let's start at the beginning shall we?"

"Hold on," Daniel interrupted, "we're missing one."

"Dr. Jackson?"

"Just give him a second."

The room went silent. Mckay looked down at his watch then back at the seat expectantly. Daniel did his best to hold the attention of the room. A few odd looks later the chair vanished in light and was replaced with a far superior version with a Roswell grey alien perched on top. The Atlantis personnel gasped.

"Greetings." Began the modestly sized creature, "I am Thor; Supreme Commander of the Asgard Fleet." Most of the room was in too much shock to reply.

"He's with me." Grinned Daniel.

"So basically," said John, finally beginning to understand, "what you're saying is that there's this huge honkin' Atlantian warship just sitting out there ready for the taking."

"You could put it that way –" Daniel stuttered a little as he did when correcting superiors, "_I wouldn't_"

"It's not quite that simple as Dr. Jackson is _well_ aware." Carter made sure that Daniel got the last little bit before continuing. "We believe that this ship is out there and, as Dr. Jackson has said, we have a fair idea as to where it is but, and I stress but – we have no idea what condition it is in or its exact location in space. This would make it impossibly hard to find with a puddle jumper."

"I'm taking a wild guess," said Mckay, not resisting the urge to jump in, "but does that explain our Asgard friend?"

Thor, positive that the earthling's tone was a cultural difference rather than an insult, continued.

"You are correct Dr. Mckay." Mckay, still not used to the alien presence, seemed a little taken aback. 'I have brought my ship in the hope that we can locate this vessel and bring it back to Atlantis. My ship is also equipped to repair most damage, enough at least, to make it flight worthy. Dr. Jackson is here to help translate and Colonel Carter to interface some of the new Earth/Asgard Technologies.

Carter and Daniel beamed at Thor whilst Mckay looked more than a little hurt. Once again it seemed like Carter was his replacement. Carter smiled at Mckay. On the bright side they would be spending a lot more time together and so the past insult was forgot.

Four hours into the briefing and the initial energy had worn off. Daniel, convinced he was suffering from gatelag, shot discrete glances around in search of the coffee pot. He didn't have to wait long as one of the staff entered with a tray of mugs and pot of what he prayed was coffee. The tray was set down directly in front of him, presumably by design. He waited a diplomatic few lines before helping himself.

Mckay watched this action intently – he himself was refraining for the obvious reasons.

Daniel went to take a sip but hesitated with the much inches from his face. He sniffed it but wrinkled his nose at the unpleasant smell setting the suspicious liquid back on the desk. Mckay – satisfied, returned his attention back to the conversation.

Carter noticed that Daniel hadn't bothered about the coaster and slid one in under his 'coffee' before giving him a cautionary glance.

"So are we all in agreement then? The mission is to take place in six hours."

"That is most satisfactory Dr. Weir. I shall contact you in five and a half hours."

Daniel waved. "Bye."

Rodney secretly wondered why Thor sounded suspiciously like Dr. Jackson.

"There's got to be a catch."

"What do you mean John?" said Elizabeth, looking at him curiously.

"Well, there's never just a huge piece of highly advanced technology just waiting to be taken with no opposition."

Mckay looked at Sheppard and then motioned to the space around him. Weir smirked.

"Okay, there's usually a catch."

* * *

You may not believe me, but I swear, and you can apply to the testimony of Hypercaz, that this was written long before the Auroa episode! 


	3. Figures

**Title: Be Prepared**

**Chapter 3: Figures…**

**By ellymelly**

**Disclaimer: It has been brought to my attention that I don't own anything – so, uh, I don't...  
**

**They saw, they explored, they got stuck – as you do…**

**

* * *

**

Five hours later and Mckay, Sheppard, Zelenka, Ford, Teyla, Daniel and Carter found themselves beamed up onto Thor's shiny new ship. There appeared to be no ground beneath them – the planet of Atlantis moving slowly below. Daniel and Carter were calmly chatting, the Atlantis team – not so much.

"Nice ship you've got here." Said Daniel, running his hand over the smooth support railing.

"And is that a new holographic display system?" smiled Carter.

"Indeed."

Colour started to return to several faces.

"Is it new?" inquired Daniel.

"It was finished two months ago."

"What's it called?" Ford – always being one for names.

"The Enterprise." Another awkward silence took hold of the crew. Daniel and Carter exchanged looks.

"It's nice." Said John. Thor beamed.

"I have input the co-ordinates Colonel Carter gave me. We should arrive in half an hour."

Half an hour later the group was standing in the transporter room. Daniel and Carter clutching a nearby railing.

"You know," said Daniel, gripping it so hard his knuckles had turned white, "we're about to exit hyperspace – you might want to think about holding on."

"Oh please," assumed Mckay drawing on his infinite knowledge, "this ship has inertial dampeners. We shouldn't feel a –" everyone except Daniel and Sam landed on the ground in a heap.

John rolled painfully onto his side, "Ow." The Atlantis team looked lividly at Mckay.

"Hmm… my mistake."

Through the holographically clear walls of the ship they could see a planet and above it, a giant ship. It was so unbelievably huge that it made The Enterprise look like a Puddlejumper. Everyone stared in awe.

"Nice." Contributed John, developing his extensive vocabulary.

Ford's eyes swelled, "That is one big piece of space junk."

"Never have I seen anything like this." Teyla said, picking herself off the floor.

Thor's voice came over the ship's intercom, "All my sensors indicate viable life support on board. Prepare for transport."

"Wait!" cried John hurriedly, "We don't even know wha –"

_Beam_

"Nevermind."

They had all been transported aboard what they presumed to be the giant ship. Only problem was that there were no lights on…

Daniel ran into something, "It's dark…"

"Oh thank you for pointing that out." Said Mckay, if possible, made more annoying by the encroaching darkness.

Carter had heard that Sheppard had the Ancient's ability to think things into happening, and seeing as though they were on an Ancient space craft… "Major Sheppard thi –" But all the lights had already gone on.

"Ah," came Beckett from behind, "I think that was me."

"Excellent." Said John, "Don't do it again."

"Sorry."

"Hey!" exclaimed Carter, moving over toward the wall, "I recognize that."

Ford took a closer look. "It's a transporter."

"Let's check it out." John led the team cautiously forward. A few minutes later they were all trying to squeeze into the same transporter. They made it – just. On the wall appeared the schematics of the ship, one section was glowing a faint pink.

"Hey that's cool…" Daniel moved to touch the screen.

Beckett, John, Teyla, Ford and Zelenka all yelled at once, "Don't!"

"Don't do tha –" but Mckay's warning, like the others, was much too late.

_Flash_

"O' fabulous." Sighed Beckett as their location on the screen shifted.

"What'd I do?" said Daniel defensibly.

"You transported us somewhere on the ship." Mckay pointed out the difference on the touch screen. "Hence, _'it's a transporter'._

"That's not so bad." Mckay eyed Daniel through slightly narrowed vision.

Ford, who was standing closest to the screen, thought he'd found a way he could be of use. "Look, I'll get us back. I burned the location into my mind." What Ford didn't see was his elbow about to touch a little red button on the wall next to the screen.

_Whoosh_

Suddenly everyone found themselves suspended in the plummeting lift.

"Mckay!" yelled John in hope of an explanation.

"It also doubles as a lift!" he turned with the best of his ability to face Ford, "What did you do!"

"You know," said Daniel, looking pale, "I'm a little uncomfortable with small areas."

"Figures, an archaeologist with a fear of enclosed spaces." Zelenka merely shrugged at Daniel's glare.

"I did nothing!" declared Ford to the unbelieving lift.

"Here." said Mckay, pressing another button next to Carter at which the lift started to plummet faster. "Oh. I presumed that would help."

"Well you presumed with my life." Snarled Carter as he withdrew his hand.

For absolutely no reason at all – all the lights suddenly went off.

"Ah!" was most people's response.

"Sorry!" confessed Beckett. "I didn' mean to!"

"There." said John as the lights returned momentarily – before vanishing once more… "Stop that!"

"Wasn' me."

"Oops." Mckay closed his eyes and the lights returned. "There. Problem solved." Barely a second was allowed to pass when the lift was plunged yet again into darkness. "Carson!"

"It's a primativ' defense mechanism. I can' help 't Rodney." To everyone's relief, the lights were finally permanently restored.

Ford watched his gun drift past. "How come we're floating?"

"It's one of the more immutable laws of Newtonian physics."

Ford looked blankly at Mckay, "And what happens when we reach the bottom?"

"Bad things."

Major Sheppard closed his eyes and thought hard. After several minutes the lift was brought to a gentle stop. "Now that's more like it." John whispered as the transporter doors slid open and everyone leapt out.

"Let's take th' stairs next time."

Daniel looked behind him at Beckett, "Agreed."

The traumatized group had not gone far when metallic sounds reverberated off the walls of the hall in front of them. Daniel and Carter raised their P90's real fast in response to its suspiciously Replicator-like nature.

Mckay jumped away from her in fright. "Ah!"

"What are you doing?" inquired John casually, not yet bothered to raise his own.

"Replicators." Hissed Carter.

A look of disbelief shot across his face, "We're in another galaxy…" Disbelief changed to concern as the sound was heard again, only this time, it was more of a scratch than a Replicator buzz.

"I don't think that's a Replicator."

Carter looked at Daniel, "I'm going to check it out."

"I'm going to come with you." she agreed before the two hurried off down the hall toward the sound.

"Ford," commanded Major Sheppard, "you go with them. And don't touch anything."

"Yes Sir."

The sound they had been hearing was found to come from underneath a control panel not far down the corridor. Carter bent down to take a look – three beady black eyes blinked happily back.

"Well hello there."

"What is it?" came Ford's nervous voice from behind.

Daniel narrowed his eyes, "I'm unsure."

Carter clicked her radio into action, "Major Sheppard, we've located the source of the noise."

"It's a cute little critter." interrupted Ford.

"Little _alien_ critter." corrected Daniel nervously.

"It looks like a bit of a mouse crossed with a pompom crossed with a cat and it's pink." explained Carter, still on radio, "It has three black eyes, four feet and a tail with a tuft on the end."

Back in the transporter Mckay was frowning trying to picture this.

"Cute." replied a relieved Sheppard.

Carter extended her hand out to it. The creature hopped over – blinking all the way. Carter beamed. "I'm calling it Scarabs."

"No, you can't keep it." said Daniel sternly.

"Aww… it's cute." Ford bent down and also extended his had, "Look at this… OW!" Scarabs bit Ford on the hand – _hard_. In return he jumped up, hitting his head on the control panel above. "It bites!"

"It didn't bite me."

"Ah guys…" Atlantian words had filled the display panel on the consol which Daniel attempted to interpret.

"What's it say?" said Carter, ignoring the injured Ford.

"Shield raised."

"Major," Carter tapped her radio once again, "we have a few problems. It seems that Lieutenant Ford has raised the vessels' shields."

"You said a few?" responded Sheppard, rolling his eyes in disbelief.

"We can't get them back down."

"Oh that's bad." muttered Mckay from over near the transporter.

"How so?"

Zelenka looked at Beckett, "If we don't get those shields down, Thor can't beam us back."

"Really?" said John, raising his eyebrows.

Mckay let his drop. "Really."


	4. That's not great news

**Title: Be Prepared**

**Chapter 4: That's not great news…**

**By ellymelly**

**Disclaimer: It has been brought to my attention that I don't own anything – so, uh, I don't…**

**Rule number one in amateur space exploring: Never give a human a time machine-**

**

* * *

**

"Alright Mckay," said John calmly, "break it down into manageable courses."

"We're on a space ship, we can't get off."

"Nice. New plan, let's find a way off." Sheppard broke their rather large group down into discrete units. He sent Rodney, Zelenka, Carter and Beckett to the bridge; Teyla and Dr. Jackson in search of – well, in search and he went off to relay the situation to Thor.

It only took the two groups several minutes to get lost. The Rodney group found itself face to face with a series of doors – each one staring back in identical blankness. Carter was fiddling with the control panel in an attempt to open one of them – Rodney and Zelenka looked on as she struggled.

"We could just –"

"I'm fine." she snapped at Zelenka.

The panel finally managed a happy beep and the door slid open to reveal an enormous room. The back wall was completely clear and looked out on the local solar system – its star burning brightly in the background. In its centre sat a lone Puddlejumper.

Rodney's eyes lit up. "Cool."

"What is it that you mean by 'stuck'?" inquired Thor carefully, tapping the display stones back in the safety of his ship. His hologram in front of John flickered.

"We ah, can't seem to get off the ship."

"I shall beam you up."

John waited as several minutes passed.

"Yeah, Mckay said that wouldn't work."

"I do not understand."

"We had a little accident with the control panel, it seems we accidentally raised the shields on this baby."

Thor thought carefully about what Major Sheppard had just said. After much deliberation and examination of his own sensors he replied in his best O'Neil voice, "Ya don' say."

Zelenka leaned in a little closer, "Not my first choice."

The three of them looked at the contraption in the centre of the Puddlejumper which was now glowing brightly.

"What'd you do?" demanded Carter from behind. Rodney blinked at the device.

"I'm not entirely sure."

"It could just be me," began Zelenka nervously peering out the window, "but wasn't that planet green a few moments ago?"

"Mckay," Carter thought for a moment, "what were you thinking just now?"

"Oh nothing – just back to that mission report where you found a time machine inside a Puddlejumper and _I_ thought, _'wouldn't it be cool if we…'_"

Beckett dropped his mouth open in realization, "O' no..."

"Flip it back! Flip it back!" yelled Sam, brandishing her weapon.

_Flash_

The planet below returned promptly to a nice, lush green. Beckett resumed respiratory action. "O' thank god."

_Flash_

"Uh oh…"

Carter spun around, "Rodney!"

_Flash_

"Hey, cool."

Zelenka glared at Mckay's broad smile, "Quit it!"

_Flash_

"Here 'e go." Beckett's eyes darted from Rodney to the device as they disappeared in another flash of light.

_Flash_

Two huge Wraith ships started to fly towards them. Each brandishing a fleet of Darts. Carter yelled frantically at Mckay.

"MCKAY!"

"Oh, sorry."

_Flash_

"Knock it off Mckay!" Rodney merely ignored Beckett.

_Flash_

"I'm confused."

The Czech jumped forward, "Rodney!"

"Kidding." Presenting the ship with another grin.

_Flash_

Carter had had enough of this, "Oh for the love of Pete… Give it here!"

Mckay protested, "You haven't got the funky gene."

"I'll do't." Mckay and Zelenka whirled around in fright of the suggestion of Beckett in charge of any kind of Atlantian equipment.

"NO!"

"Don't think anything."

Zelenka, perhaps not hearing Carter's comment, proceeded to talk, "Do you think it would be wise idea to get out of here?"

"Don't ask me questions or I'll start thinkin'."

"I wasn't, I was simply giving you instructions so that we don't end up in any more life threatening predica –"

_Flash_

They all turned to see the sun swollen and about to explode…

Everyone but Rodney yelled frantically, "Turn it back!"

_Flash_

Major Sheppard was still standing in the hallway with a holographic Thor in front of him when his radio broke the awkward silence.

"Major Sheppared, this is Teyla, we've found the Bridge."

He had to do a double take at his radio in shock, "I thought you were supposed to be looking around. I sent the Doctors to the bridge."

"We got a little lost, as I suspect – so did everyone else."

"Oh man."

"Can not Lieutenant Ford and Teyla complete the mission in place of Doctors Carter, Mckay, Beckett and Zelenka?"

John looked worriedly at Thor – not believing his luck. "It's – possible…"

"We're screwed."

This time John actually did do a double take of his radio. "Mckay?"

"Oh, sorry, did I say that last bit out loud?"

Another holographic chose to materialize into the hall next to Thor. John jumped back a few feet in surprise.

Elizabeth waved to him. "Hi."

"Ah! There you are…"

She was smitten, "There I am."

"You're on Thor's ship?"

"Mmm.." she mulled the question teasingly, "no. I'm in Atlantis."

John was fast re-thinking the superior nature of the Asgard race. "Oh, okay."

"I'm going to check on Rodney, make sure he's not touching anything."

John nodded helplessly as her hologram disappeared. Thor looked back at Sheppard and narrowed his eyes. Sheppard hoped that this was a biological malfunction.

Back in the jumper, things had not improved.

"I know what I said but –"

_Beam_

There was a bright light as Mckay's speech was interrupted by Elizabeth's hologram. "'Lizabeth!"

"Rodney," she glanced around the Puddlejumper and the frightened expression on its occupants' faces, "whatcha doin'?"

"He's messing' about with this time travel thing." said Beckett angrily.

"Rodney/ Please tell me –"

_Flash_

"Whoops."

"Where'd she go?" said Zelenka, leaning toward the place where she had been. Carter rolled her eyes.

"I'm presuming there's no Asgard ship above us in whatever millennia Mckay has us in.

_Flash_

" – that you're not doing that. Time travel is a bad idea."

Carter breathed sharply, "It most certainly is."

"Hey!" exclaimed Mckay impressed with himself, "No time passed for her. That's interesting."

"Not really." Remarked Zelenka dryly.

Carter finished her radio discussion, "Major Sheppard wants you all to head off to the Bridge."

"Which is… where?"

Carter wanted to say something really intelligent in response to Mckay but had to admit she was a little lost as well, "Yeah, we're a little lost at the moment."

"Follow me. I'll beam in and out."

Beckett wasn't sure what the meant but it sounded better than spending more time with Rodney in a Puddlejumper, "Okay."

At the Bridge, Ford was looming dangerously close to the Atlantian control panel. Teyla, who was supposed to be supervising him, warned him repeatedly not to touch things.

"Ford, I do not think it wise to –" Unfortunately, this time she was too late. Ford reached out and touched the little red button in the centre of the panel causing a series of lights to start flashing in time with a warning alarm. Daniel listened and tried to translate.

"General – alarm – um, activated. Ten – minutes to – ah… Oh! Self destruct." He took a few moments to beam proudly at his successful translation. His eyebrows dropping when he finally realized what he had just said. "That's not great news…"

Major Sheppard ran into the control room, beaten by holographic Thor.

_Beam_

"My sensors indicate that you have –"

Sheppard fell into the room, "What happened?"

_Beam_

"What'd I miss?"

Ford looked at Elizabeth, "Ah, I was just…"

But he didn't get to finish as the Doctors entered the Bridge puffing.

Mckay was livid, "Please tell me you didn't –"

"Nine minutes to self destruct." interpreted Daniel helpfully.

"Self de what'?" said Zelenka in confusion. Beckett looked around for the nearest wall to slump against.

"O' no."


End file.
